"Ever had this feeling that you want to be all alone because you don’t deserve anyone? Because you did something awful, horrible, disgusting and it makes you feel guilty? I’m so disappointed in myself. I’ve tried my best to be good but i keep failing.
I wished i could go back last year, where things were better. Where everything & everyone around me motivates me to be better. I was at the peak but you know what they say, “what goes up, must come down”. And i fell. Fell so deep. Distracted by things, by people. Especially people.
I came to realise that people will disappoint you and so i avoided people. Killed my feelings, my heart grew hard and cold. Feelings can either help you or destroy you. And in my case, it was the latter. Being alone does help me but at the same time, it’s hurting me. To the point where i feel numb towards things.
I remind myself that I only need Him but still… Guess that i don’t have complete faith in things. After typing this out, i realise that i’m clueless as to what i want and how i want to lead my life. And also, I’m so bad at putting my thoughts into words cause they are in a mess. Probably that explains why i have horrible marks for my essays.
I just wanna be how i used to be. That cheerful, happy go lucky, caring guy."
I can so relate to this :(
No comments:
Post a Comment