2 years ago, I was so disturbed by the fact that I lost one of my best friend. Took me 2 years to accept the fact that everything is temporary in this world. A few days ago, I lost another one. So how many years will it take for me to accept this?
I blame myself every single time I lost a friend. Its like i don't know how to treat people anymore. I just repel every single one. I just wished that there's just something that I am good at, not to show off but to be proud of myself for at least once. To make my parents proud. Cause all that I've done so far is letting people down, letting myself down. I'm tired. My mind kept telling me to give up, but the inner dayah kept telling me to be brave and stay strong. Hidz destroyed me. Hidz was just another personality that i developed because i thought being Hidz would make me happier. But no, it shattered me into pieces. Dayah was happier then, she destroyed her own life using her own hands.
I just need someone to cry to. to lend me a shoulder. to listen to me. cause idk how long i can force myself to be strong. I am busy now which makes things easier. But when everything is over, and i have more time to myself, i don't want to feel alone. I just need a hug.
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